секретный агент (see-KRET-ni ah-GENT), meaning "secret agent."
It's five weeks until I fly out to the Motherland and I'm already beginning to feel like a foreigner in a distant land. I'm seeing things in Cyrillic and I'm hearing Russian wherever I go. One might attribute this to mental instability, pre-departure anticipation or a secret government conspiracy (highly likely); however, I'm not the only one sensing Russian infiltration everywhere.
There's an old comedy movie called "The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!" about a Russian submarine accidentally running aground and the crew walking about New England to get help. I'm positive that the Russians are no longer coming, but are here in Phoenix, Arizona!
I was walking around Barnes & Noble one evening when I heard a group of 5 or so customers speaking Russian. The more time I spent in the store, the more Russian speakers I ran into! It's a good thing Russia doesn't spy on the U.S. anymore (*cough* yeah right *cough*) because that bookstore was a hotbead of potential KGB operatives! There were probably 15 Russians there, that night.
Not only have the Russians infiltrated our most popular booksellers, but they've also snuck their way into our most powerful wholesale supercenter: Wal-Mart. Yes, comrades, while I was shopping with my family at our local Wal-Mart on multiple occasions, I heard several people speaking either in Russian or with a Russian accent.
Bookstores, supercenters...where else have the Russians left their mark on the Phoenix metropolitan area? The answer proves that the Imperial Bear is once again looking toward eastward expansion. Russians are trying to take over Japan...well, at least their exports. You see, I was in Best Buy (not of my own volition, might I say) when I saw a techno-doodad (that's the technical term) showing a demo video IN RUSSIAN. One would think that a promo for a new gadget would be in the language native to all Arizonans - Spanish. But, no, the entire presentation was written in Cyrillic, flashing beautifully on a screen. (I translated most of it for my mom, and I'm convinced the parts I didn't understand were secret code...)
Finally, the Russians have taken over the drug trade. "Duh, Katya, I knew that already," you might say. To that I wholeheartedly reply, "Нет! Вы ничего не знаете!" (Translation: Y'all ain't gots no clue.) I'm not talking about conventional drugs, I'm talking about Christian crack. Yes, comrades: coffee.
There is a Russian coffee store called Dazbog that serves frou-frou drinks a la Starbucks for approximately the same ridiculous prices. Not only does Dazbog sell coffee, but they also sell pro-Russian clothing and cycling gear. If you go to their website, their newsletter is listed under the "propaganda" tab. Need I say more?
So, until I go to Russia, Russia is coming to me. I'm getting a little taste (quite literally, in Dazbog's case) of what I should experience in August. In the meantime, I'm working on being brave enough to talk to strangers in my second language. You know, the one I'm supposedly majoring in...
Until next time,
Agent K, superspy.
It's five weeks until I fly out to the Motherland and I'm already beginning to feel like a foreigner in a distant land. I'm seeing things in Cyrillic and I'm hearing Russian wherever I go. One might attribute this to mental instability, pre-departure anticipation or a secret government conspiracy (highly likely); however, I'm not the only one sensing Russian infiltration everywhere.
There's an old comedy movie called "The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!" about a Russian submarine accidentally running aground and the crew walking about New England to get help. I'm positive that the Russians are no longer coming, but are here in Phoenix, Arizona!
I was walking around Barnes & Noble one evening when I heard a group of 5 or so customers speaking Russian. The more time I spent in the store, the more Russian speakers I ran into! It's a good thing Russia doesn't spy on the U.S. anymore (*cough* yeah right *cough*) because that bookstore was a hotbead of potential KGB operatives! There were probably 15 Russians there, that night.
Not only have the Russians infiltrated our most popular booksellers, but they've also snuck their way into our most powerful wholesale supercenter: Wal-Mart. Yes, comrades, while I was shopping with my family at our local Wal-Mart on multiple occasions, I heard several people speaking either in Russian or with a Russian accent.
Bookstores, supercenters...where else have the Russians left their mark on the Phoenix metropolitan area? The answer proves that the Imperial Bear is once again looking toward eastward expansion. Russians are trying to take over Japan...well, at least their exports. You see, I was in Best Buy (not of my own volition, might I say) when I saw a techno-doodad (that's the technical term) showing a demo video IN RUSSIAN. One would think that a promo for a new gadget would be in the language native to all Arizonans - Spanish. But, no, the entire presentation was written in Cyrillic, flashing beautifully on a screen. (I translated most of it for my mom, and I'm convinced the parts I didn't understand were secret code...)
Finally, the Russians have taken over the drug trade. "Duh, Katya, I knew that already," you might say. To that I wholeheartedly reply, "Нет! Вы ничего не знаете!" (Translation: Y'all ain't gots no clue.) I'm not talking about conventional drugs, I'm talking about Christian crack. Yes, comrades: coffee.
There is a Russian coffee store called Dazbog that serves frou-frou drinks a la Starbucks for approximately the same ridiculous prices. Not only does Dazbog sell coffee, but they also sell pro-Russian clothing and cycling gear. If you go to their website, their newsletter is listed under the "propaganda" tab. Need I say more?
So, until I go to Russia, Russia is coming to me. I'm getting a little taste (quite literally, in Dazbog's case) of what I should experience in August. In the meantime, I'm working on being brave enough to talk to strangers in my second language. You know, the one I'm supposedly majoring in...
Until next time,
Agent K, superspy.
