There and Back Again: A Tale of Two (Actually Three) Cities. Part 3.

Quick Stats: VIENNA

(Russian: Вена. German: Wien)

Capital of Austria.

Population: About 2 million.

Famous sights: Hofsburg Palace, Albertina Art Museum, Mozart’s House…and everything else in the city.

Opinion of sights: Spectacular.

Opinion of city: Good, but not for me.

While Poland is an EU country, it is a poor one, and a very Eastern one. Austria, on the other hand, struck me as being extremely Western and “upperclass EU,” if you will: wealthy, stable, friendly, clean and pretty. However, all the things that made it remarkable also made me uncomfortable.

Vienna is a beautiful Central European city with almost no bad side – which is I think why I didn’t quite like it, there. It seemed to me that everything went a little too smoothly for me not to remain suspicious. Maybe it’s simply because I’ve been living in a country that I affectionately describe as “functionally dysfunctional,” but when there is a seamless transition from walking on the street to getting into the subway system, and when transportation tickets are on the honor system, and when every building in the center of town looks like it’s still drying from a fresh layer of paint, and when there is absolutely no trash on the streets, and when strangers SMILE at you just because you are in their line of sight, I feel weird. I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall and all of Vienna’s misfortunes to come crashing down on my head, but nothing happened. Even the weather was perfect – more than perfect, actually, since the Saturday before I left, it was on the verge of being hot.

If you know me at all, you know that “things running smoothly” and “Kelsey” rarely hang out with each other in the same sentence. If there is something abnormal, uncommon and/or bizarre that can happen, it will usually happen when I am involved. I know, after two decades of experience, that “perfect” is not a viable descriptive word for reality. Apparently, however, Vienna did not get that memo. This weirds me out.

My feelings of “this city can’t be this nice” aside, I definitely enjoyed my time in Vienna. I particularly liked the Hofsburg palace, in which I saw the crown jewels collection, as well as the library of my dreams (think Beauty and the Beast library and Swan Princess library morphed together, and add a tasteful flair of 18^th century artistic expression).* I also thoroughly enjoyed the Noshmarkt, a half-mile strip of outdoor food/assorted merchandise booths. It was like a gigantic farmer’s market-flea market hybrid, with gorgeous colors, pleasing aromas and neat tchatchkes everywhere.

I do regret not eating sponge cake (invented by the Viennese) or strudel while I was there, but using the euro hurt both my wallet and my pride, and I was happy to save some for an airport lunch. I did have coffee, chocolate and cake, though, which is a definite must-try for anyone with Austrian travel plans. I can’t particularly say that I enjoyed Austrian food (which is basically German food) more than Russian food, but schnitzel is quite good, as is this bratwurst called a Bosner. I am rather biased, though, since I adore Russian food, Russian culture, the Russian language and Russia in general…

And speaking of my beloved Russia, I knew I was heading back to Piter when I got on the airplane in the Viennese airport. About 80% of the passengers were Russian, and this was evident not by their language, but by the totally inefficient and haphazard way they boarded the plane. There were people walking into each other trying to shove bags in overhead compartments 7 rows away from where they were sitting, people trying to change seats, people trying to find seats, people stopping in the middle of the aisle to take off their jackets, causing a pileup and general confused mayhem…it was so Russian. I was smiling (behind my magazine) the entire time. Also, half the men smelled like smoke. Again, very Russian.

Finally, I knew I had left Vienna behind when, as I got back into Piter and made my way from the airport to the closest metro, I discovered that the station was closed for repair, necessitating a 15 minute walk to the next stop.

Ah, Russia. How I missed you.

Favorite shot of the trip: Statue of Athena and other Greek gods in front of Parliament. (Nice, but our Athena in Nashville is better. Take that, Perfect Vienna!)

*Yes, Disney and Warner Brothers gave me unrealistic expectations of personal libraries. Sorry if their images don’t flood into your mind like they do, mine.